Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

The question that always stops my conversation short

Like most grandmother’s I am immensely proud of my granddaughter.

At 4 years old, she impresses me with her language skills, her logical thinking, and her sense of humour.

She is the apple of my eye.

I call her my “grandbug” and even wrote a book to share with her.

She is a pure delight and I talk about her with anyone who will listen.

But when I share my love for this little one, inevitably I get the question, “Do you have any other grandchildren?”

This question stops me every time.

I really haven’t come up with a good way to answer it.

How do you politely say that my grandbug had a baby sister who died before she was one year old?

The delight of sharing about Sophia is overshadowed by the pain of sharing about the loss of her sister, Talia.

It darkens any conversation and stops me every time.

I want to share about her chubby cheeks and fat rolls on her legs. I’d like to talk about her raspy laugh and toothless smile.

She, too, captured my heart.

The way her eyes followed me as I moved around the kitchen, cleaning up dinner dishes.

But the loss is too much.

And not just for me.

To speak of the death of a grandchild is sad. It’s uncomfortable. It’s not a conversation most people want to engage in.

The question stops me every time.

And my answer stops the questioner.

(First featured on Medium platform July 10, 2021)