Regardless of why, I remember being told that I am never satisfied.

This sentiment rang true today and I felt convicted.

I hold a good job that I enjoy and pays well. Yet I find myself feeling angst as I read other job postings at this same institution that sound remarkably similar to mine yet pay exceptionally more money.

I grumble and complain about the unfairness of it all.

Yet my job pays well. It pays very well. I am happy with my pay.

Until I compare it with someone else’s and then I am not satisfied.

My childhood admonition returns to me.

Will I ever be satisfied?

God provided me with this job. He orchestrated it so that it came at just the right time, with just the right circumstances. How I landed this job could be a story by itself.

The conviction that I am not satisfied leads me to ask forgiveness.

Until the next day.

I see a co-worker leave work because of poor weather conditions. I grumble to myself that I wish I could leave my desk job whenever I wanted.

I grumble and complain about the unfairness of it all.

Yet my job hours are great. They fit my lifestyle. I am happy with my job hours.

Until I compare them with someone else’s and then I am not satisfied.

My childhood admonition returns to me.

Will I ever be satisfied?

The conviction that I am not satisfied leads me to ask forgiveness.

This is a cycle that I am seeing way too often lately. The Holy Spirit is convicting me of my behaviour, of my attitude.

My prayer is that I will catch myself before I grumble and complain.

My prayer is that I will appreciate and value what I have.

My prayer is that I will be satisfied.

And that I will never be satisfied with not being satisfied.